In the Cafeteria

By: Jack Prelutsky

I was feeling sort of silly,
So I took a bit of bread
And directed it precisely
At my buddy Benny's head.
"Who did that?" Benny shouted,
As he shot out of his seat,
Flinging carrots at Carlotta,
Who then threw her peas at Pete.

Pete took a small tomato wedge
And hurled it at Denise,
Who responded, catapulting
Macaroni at Felice.
Felice, whose aim is perfect,
Started pelting me with beans -
I believe that I am learning
What the food chain really means.

I Wish I'd Studied Harder

By: Jack Prelutsky

I wish I'd studied harrder
For our spellink test today.
I'm sorrie that I didn't,
Now I'm feeling some dismaye.
I'd like to get a passing graid,
But don't beleeve I will -
I think I got Whyoming wrong,
And Chyna, and Brazill.

Though I don't want to make misteaks,
I made them awl the same.
It's no one else's fawlt but mine,
I have to take the blaime.
I tried to spell Cunneddykit,
But really, I just gessed...
If I had stoodied harder
Then I mite have passed this test.

We Had a Field Trip Yesterday

By: Jack Prelutsky

We had a field trip yesterday,
An annual event.
This year was really special,
We're all happy that we went.
We visited a factory
To watch candy being made,
And saw a million lollipops
On colorful parade.

We saw a vat of chocolate
That they'd warmed so it would melt,
And endless rows of gumdrops
On a great conveyer belt.
They gave us lots of samples,
And we giggled, roared, and squealed -
Our field trip was exciting,
Though we never saw a field.

My Backpack Weighs a Thousand Pounds

by: Jack Prelutsky

My backpack weighs a thousand pounds,

It's fatter than a cow!

I don't know how I carry it,

But do it anyhow.

It's filled with books and papers

That my teacher says I need -

She never lets me lighten it,

No matter how I plead.

Sometimes it tips me backward,

It's a wonder I don't fall.

Sometimes I have to stop and rest

And lean against a wall.

I tell you, from experience,

It's not a lot of fun

When you have to lug a backpack

That's about a half a ton.

You're Eating Like a Pig Again!

by: Jack Prelutsky

"You're eating like a pig again!"

my mother scolded me,

"If you keep eating like a pig,

a pig is what you'll be!"

I simply cannot fathom

what the fuss is all about,

and haven't I a lovely tail,

and see my splendid snout.

The Turkey Shot out of the Oven

by: Jack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven

and rocketed into the air,

it knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom,

then splattered all over the kitchen,

completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,

it totally coated the floor,

there was turkey attached to the ceiling,

where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,

it smeared every saucer and bowl,

there wasn't a way I could stop it,

that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,

and thought with chagrin as I mopped,

that I'd never again stuff a turkey

with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

Something Big Has Been Here

by: Jack Prelutsky

Something big has been here,

what it was, I do not know,

for I did not see it coming,

and I did not see it go,

but I hope I never meet it,

if I do, I'm in a fix,

for it left behind its footprints,

they are size nine-fifty-six.

Whew!

by: Carol Diggory Shields

I didn't get my spelling done,

My science was a mess,

I totally forgot about

The social-studies test.

Finished only half the math,

My essay was too short,

The baby finger-painted jam

All over my report.

On the bus, I lost my pen,

And when I got in line,

I couldn't find the papers

My parents had to sign.

I gave up hope, went into class,

Shaking in my boots,

And saw the greatest sight on Earth -

A smiling substitute.

Rosie

by: Carol Diggory Shields

Have you met our Rosie yet?

She's very, very sweet.

We love her from her round pink ears

Down to her tiny feet.

Be gentle, you can take her out -

She'll climb up on your shoulder,

And even Jake sits quiet when

He gets a turn to hold her.

Her whiskers are all twitchery

Around her pretty nose,

And it really, really tickles

When she crawls inside your clothes.

We like to share our snacks with her

(She's getting kind of fat).

She's everybody's special friend -

She's Rosie, our class rat.

Math My Way

by: Carol Diggory Shields

Two plus two is twenty-two.

It's plain as day that this is true.

But teacher says she's very sure

That two plus two adds up to four.

Three plus three makes thirty-three.

That's the way it ought to be.

But teacher says the answer's six.

I don't know why. Must be a trick.

Four plus four is forty-four.

Not any less, not any more.

My teacher just can't get it straight.

She keeps on saying the answer's eight.

I give up. I'll go along.

I'll do it her way, though she's wrong.

But in my heart, I know what's true -

Two plus two makes twenty-two.

And the Answer Is...?

by: Carol Diggory Shields

Teacher, please don't look at me -

The answer is a mystery.

I'm staring into empty air,

I'm sliding underneath my chair.

I'm making myself very small,

I wish I wasn't here at all.

Teacher, teacher, pass me by,

Please pick on some other guy.

Teacher, teacher, call on me -

I know the answer, can't you see?

This one's a wrap, a snap, a breeze.

Just look in my direction, please!

I'm almost bouncing off my chair,

I'm waving both hands in the air.

Teacher, teacher, ask me first,

'Cause if you don't I think I'll burst.

Seismosaurus

By: Jack Prelutsky

Seismosaurus was enormous,

Seismosaurus was tremendous,

Seismosaurus was prodigious,

Seismosaurus was stupendous.

Seismosaurus was titanic,

Seismosaurus was colossal,

Seismosaurus now is nothing

but a monumental fossil.

Iguanodon

By: Jack Prelutsky

Iguanodon, Iguanodon,

whatever made you fade,

you've traveled on, Iguanodon,

we wish you could have stayed.

Iguanodon, Iguanodon,

we've sought you everywhere,

both here and yon, Iguanodon,

but failed to find you there.

Iguanodon, Iguanodon,

you were a gentle kind,

but now you're gone, Iguanodon,

and left your bones behind.

Triceratops

By: Jack Prelutsky

Triceratops had one short horn,

and two as long as spears,

it dwelled near scores of carnosaurs,

and yet it had no fears.

Triceratops was dangerous,

impervious and strong,

the predators that challenged it

did not last very long.

Triceratops fought valiantly,

and vanquished every foe,

so why it ever disappeared,

nobody seems to know.

Ankylosaurus

By: Jack Prelutsky

Clankity Clankity Clankity Clank!

Ankylosaurus was built like a tank,

its hide was a fortress as sturdy as steel,

it tended to be an inedible meal.

It was armored in front, it was armored behind,

there wasn't a thing on its miniscule mind,

it waddled about on its four stubby legs,

nibbling on plants with a mouthful of pegs.

Ankylosaurus was best left alone,

its tail was a cudgel of gristle and bone,

Clankity Clankity Clankity Clank!

Ankylosaurus was built like a tank.

Brachiosaurus

By: Jack Prelutsky

Brachiosaurus had little to do

but stand with its head in the treetops and chew,

it nibbled the leaves that were tender and green,

it was a perpetual eating machine.

Brachiosaurus was truly immense,

its vacuous mind was uncluttered by sense,

it hadn't the need to be clever and wise,

no beast dared to bother a being its size.

Brachiosaurus was clumsy and slow,

but then, there was nowhere it needed to go,

if Brachiosaurus were living today,

no doubt it would frequently be in the way.

My Mother's Got Me Bundled Up

By: Jack Prelutsky

My mother's got me bundled up

in tons of winter clothes,

you could not recognize me

if I did not have a nose.

I'd wear much less, but she'd get mad

if I dared disobey her,

so I stay wrapped from head to toe

in layer after layer.

I am wearing extra sweaters,

I am wearing extra socks,

my galoshes are so heavy

that my ankles seem like rocks.

I am wearing scarves and earmuffs,

I am wearing itchy pants,

my legs feel like they're swarming

with a million tiny ants.

My mittens are enormous

and my coat weighs more than me,

my woolen hat and ski mask

make it difficult to see.

It's hard to move, and when I try

I waddle, then I flop,

I'm the living, breathing model

of a walking clothing shop.

My Mother Took Me Skating

By: Jack Prelutsky

My mother took me skating

and we glided on the ice,

I wasn't very good at it

and stumbled more than twice.

My mother made a figure eight,

and since it seemed like fun,

I tried a little trick myself

and made a figure one.

Winter Signs

By: Jack Prelutsky

Winter signs are everywhere,

the winter winds are nipping,

winter snow is in my hair,

my winter nose is dripping.

Way Down South

Way down South where bananas grow,

A grasshopper stepped on an elephant's toe.

The elephant said, with tears in his eyes,

"Pick on somebody your own size."

McIntosh Apple

By: Steven Kroll

McIntosh apple

Has nice rosy cheeks

Romaine lettuce

Turns green when she speaks

Cherry tomato

Has gorgeous red hair

But I'm mashed potatoes

And fall down the stairs.

Jabberwocky

By: Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought -

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

"And has though slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"

He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

The Middle of the Night

By: Karla Kuskin

This is a song to be sung at night

When nothing is left of you and the light

When the cats don't bark

And the mice don't moo

And the nightmares come and nuzzle you

When there's blackness in the cupboards

And the closet and the hall

And a tipping, tapping, rapping

In the middle of the wall

When the lights have one by one gone out

All over everywhere

And a shadow by the curtains

Bumps a shadow by the chair

Then you hide beneath your pillow

With your eyes shut very tight

And you sing

"There's nothing sweeter than

The middle of the night.

I'm extremely fond of shadows

And I really must confess

That cats and bats don't scare me.

Well, they couldn't scare me less

And most of all I like the things

That slide and slip and creep."

It really is surprising

How fast you fall asleep.

Winter Clothes

By: Karla Kuskin

Under my hood I have a hat

And under that

My hair is flat.

Under my coat

My sweater's blue.

My sweater's red.

I'm wearing two.

My muffler muffles to my chin

And round my neck

And then tucks in.

My gloves were knitted

By my aunts.

I've mittens too

And pants

And pants

And boots

And shoes

With socks inside.

The boots are rubber, red and wide.

And when I walk

I must not fall

Because I can't get up at all.

Me

By: Karla Kuskin

"My nose is blue,

My teeth are green,

My face is like a soup tureen.

I look just like a lima bean.

I'm very, very lovely.

My feet are far too short

And long.

My hands are left and right

And wrong.

My voice is like the hippo's song.

I'm very, very,

Very, very,

Very, very

Lovely?"

Tony Baloney

By: Dennis Lee

Tony Baloney is fibbing again -

Look at him wiggle and try to pretend.

Tony Baloney is telling a lie:

Phony old Tony Baloney, goodbye!

Why Run?

By: Norah Smaridge

Jane won't touch a caterpillar,

Mary's frightened of a mouse,

Sally shrieks and runs for Daddy

When a moth flies in the house.

Pam's afraid of shiny beetles,

Spiders make Melinda squirm,

Susan nearly has HYS-Ter)ICS

If you chase her with a worm!

Aren't they foolish to be frightened?

Fancy making such a fuss

Over harmless creepy-crawlies

Who are scared to death - of US.

Table Manners

By: Gelett Burgess

The Goops they lick their fingers,

And the Goops they lick their knives;

They spill their broth on the tablecloth -

Oh, they lead disgusting lives!

The Goops they talk while eating,

And loud and fast they chew;

And that is why I'm glad that I

Am not a Goop - are you?

Ten Kinds

By: Mary Mapes Dodge

Winnie Whiney, all things grieve her;

Fannie Fibber, who'd believe her?

Lotty Loozem, late to school, sire;

Albert Allplay, quite a fool, sir;

Kitty Kissem, loved by many;

George Grump, not loved by any;

Ralph Ruff - beware his fist, sir;

Tillie Tattle, like a blister;

Gus Goodactin, bright and cheery;

Sammy Selfish, sour and dreary.

Do you know them, as I've sung them?

East 'tis to choose among them.

The Joke

The joke you just told isn't funny one bit.

It's pointless and dull, wholly lacking in wit.

It's so old and stale, it's beginning to smell!

Besides, it's the one I was going to tell.

Money Poem

Penny, penny, easily spent

Copper brown and worth 1 cent.

Nickel, nickel, thick and fat

You're worth 5 cents, I know that.

Dime, dime, little and thin

I remember you're worth 10 cents.

Quarter, quarter, big and bold

You're worth 25 cents I am told.

The Lost Cat

By: Shel Silverstein

We can't find the cat,

We don't know where she's at,

Oh, where did she go?

Does anyone know?

Let's ask this walking hat.

Bear in There

By: Shel Silverstein

There's a Polar Bear

In our Frigidaire -

He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.

With his seat in the meat

And his face in the fish

And his big hairy paws

In the buttery dish,

He's nibbling the noodles,

He's munching the rice,

He's slurping the soda,

He's licking the ice.

And he lets out a roar

If you open the door.

And it gives me a scare

To know he's in there -

That Polary Bear

In our Fridgitydaire.

Blame

By: Shel Silverstein

I wrote such a beautiful book for you

'Bout rainbows and sunshine

And dreams that come true.

But the goat went and ate it

(You knew that he would),

So I wrote you another one

Fast as I could.

Of course it could never be

Nearly as great

As that beautiful book

That the silly goat ate.

So if you don't like

This new book I just wrote -

Blame the goat.

Here Comes

By: Shel Silverstein

Here comes summer,

Here comes summer,

Chirping robin, budding rose.

Here comes summer,

Here comes summer,

Gentle showers, summer clothes.

Here comes summer,

Here comes summer -

Whoosh - shiver - there it goes.

Something Missing

By: Shel Silverstein

I remember I put on my socks,

I remember I put on my shoes.

I remember I put on my tie

That was painted

In beautiful purples and blues.

I remember I put on my coat,

To look perfectly grand at the dance,

Yet I feel there is something

I may have forgot -

What is it? What is it? ...

What Did?

By: Shel Silverstein

What did the carrot say to the wheat?

"'Lettuce' rest, I'm feeling 'beet.'"

What did the paper say to the pen?

"I feel quite all 'write,' my friend."

What did the teapot say to the chalk?

Nothing, you silly... teapots can't talk!

Open House

By: Aileen Fisher

If I were a tree

I'd want to see

a bird with a song

on a branch of me.

I'd want a quick

little squirrel to run

up and down

and around, for fun.

I'd want the cub

of a bear to call,

and a porcupine, big,

and a tree toad, small.

I'd want a katydid

out of sight

on one of my leaves

to sing at night.

And down by my roots

I'd want a mouse

with six little mouselings

in her house.

Long Gone

By: Jack Prelutsky

Don't waste your time in looking for

The long-extinct tyrannosaur,

Because this ancient dinosaur

Just can't be found here anymore.

This also goes for stegosaurus,

Allosaurus, brontosaurus

And any other saur or saurus.

They all lived here long before us.

Too Sad

By: William Cole

It's such a shock,

I almost screech

When I find a worm

inside my peach!

But then, what really

makes me blue

Is to find a worm

who's bit in two!

Gobble Gobble

By: Jack Prelutsky

When the turkey gobble gobbles,

it is plump and proud and perky.

When our family gobble gobbles,

we are gobbling down the turkey.

It's Hard to Be an Elephant

By: Jack Prelutsky

It's hard to be an elephant,

enormous, broad and tall.

I can't attend the cinema,

the seats are all too small.

It's practically impossible

for me to board a bus,

the tired often flatten,

and the driver makes a fuss.

I'm ushered out of luncheonettes,

the waitresses are rude.

They fume, "We cannot feed you,

for you'll finish all our food."

I'm drawn to the piano,

but I'm daunted when I play,

I tend to be ungainly,

and my ears get in the way.

My trunk is far too powerful,

no sooner do I sneeze

than windows crack and shatter

from the impact of the breeze.

I'm plagued by a peculiar,

purely pachydermal plight -

I find no socks and underwear

that fit precisely right.

I'm Usually a Speedy Horse

By: Jack Prelutsky

I'm usually a speedy horse,

today I'm very slow.

I'm hardly making headway

as along the road I go.

I'm slower than a tortoise

or a sloth atop a tree

my rider has decided

that he ought to carry me.

A Gopher In The Garden

By: Jack Prelutsky

There's a gopher in the garden, and he's

eating all the onions,

and he's eating all the carrots, all the corn and

cauliflower,

all the parsley, peas and pumpkins, all the

radishes and greens.

At breakfast, lunch or dinnertime the gopher is

no loafer

and he quickly will devour everything

before his eyes.

He does not even hesitate to eat a cabbage twice

his weight,

or a watermelon five or six or seven

times his size.

I Made My Dog a Valentine

By: Jack Prelutsky

I made my dog a valentine,

she sniffed it very hard,

then chewed on it a little while

and left it in the yard.

I made one for my parakeets,

a pretty paper heart,

they pulled it with their claws and beaks

until it ripped apart.

I made one for my turtle,

all he did was get it wet,

I wonder if a valentine

is wasted on a pet.

It's Raining Pigs and Noodles

By: Jack Prelutsky

It's raining pigs and noodles,

it's pouring frogs and hats,

chrysanthemums and poodles,

bananas, brooms, and cats.

Assorted prunes and parrots

are dropping from the sky,

here comes a bunch of carrots,

some hippopotami.

It's raining pens and pickles,

and eggs and silverware.

A flood of figs and nickels

is falling through the air.

I see a swan, a sweater,

a clock, a model train -

I like this so much better

than when it's raining rain.

My Frog is a Frog

By: Jack Prelutsky

My frog is a frog that is hopelessly hoarse,

my frog is a frog with a reason, of course,

my frog is a frog that cannot croak a note,

my frog is a frog with a frog in its throat.

I Have a Secret Dragon

By: Jack Pelutsky

I have a secret dragon

Who is living in the tub,

It greets me when I take a bath,

And gives my back a scrub.

My parents cannot see it,

They don't suspect it's there,

They look in its direction,

And all they see is air.

My dragon's very gentle,

My dragon's very kind,

No matter how I pull its tail,

My dragon doesn't mind.

We splash around together

And play at silly things,

Then when I'm finished bathing,

It dries me with its wings.

Giraffes Don't Huff

By: Karla Kuskin

Giraffes don't huff

Or hoot or howl.

They never grump,

They never growl.

They never roar,

They never riot,

They eat green leaves

And just keep quiet.

Snowball

By: Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball

As perfect as could be.

I thought I'd keep it as a pet

And let it sleep with me.

I made it some pajamas

And a pillow for its head.

Then last night it ran away,

But first - it wet the bed.

Last Night I Dreamed of Chickens

By: Jack Prelutsky

Last night I dreamed of chickens,

there were chickens everywhere,

they were standing on my stomach,

they were nesting in my hair,

they were pecking at my pillow,

they were hopping on my head,

they were ruffling up their feathers

as they raced about my bed.

They were on the chairs and tables,

they were on the chandeliers,

they were roosting in the corners,

they were clucking in my ears,

there were chickens; chickens, chickens

for as far as I could see...

when I woke today, I noticed

there were eggs on top of me.

The Water Cycle Song

Water travels in a cycle, yes it does

Water travels in a cycle, yes it does

It goes up as evaporation,

Forms clouds as condensation,

Then falls down as precipitation,

Yes it does! Yee-haw!