In the Cafeteria

By: Jack Prelutsky

I was feeling sort of silly,
So I took a bit of bread
And directed it precisely
At my buddy Benny's head.
"Who did that?" Benny shouted,
As he shot out of his seat,
Flinging carrots at Carlotta,
Who then threw her peas at Pete.

Pete took a small tomato wedge
And hurled it at Denise,
Who responded, catapulting
Macaroni at Felice.
Felice, whose aim is perfect,
Started pelting me with beans -
I believe that I am learning
What the food chain really means.

I Wish I'd Studied Harder

By: Jack Prelutsky

I wish I'd studied harrder
For our spellink test today.
I'm sorrie that I didn't,
Now I'm feeling some dismaye.
I'd like to get a passing graid,
But don't beleeve I will -
I think I got Whyoming wrong,
And Chyna, and Brazill.

Though I don't want to make misteaks,
I made them awl the same.
It's no one else's fawlt but mine,
I have to take the blaime.
I tried to spell Cunneddykit,
But really, I just gessed...
If I had stoodied harder
Then I mite have passed this test.

We Had a Field Trip Yesterday

By: Jack Prelutsky

We had a field trip yesterday,
An annual event.
This year was really special,
We're all happy that we went.
We visited a factory
To watch candy being made,
And saw a million lollipops
On colorful parade.

We saw a vat of chocolate
That they'd warmed so it would melt,
And endless rows of gumdrops
On a great conveyer belt.
They gave us lots of samples,
And we giggled, roared, and squealed -
Our field trip was exciting,
Though we never saw a field.

My Backpack Weighs a Thousand Pounds

by: Jack Prelutsky

My backpack weighs a thousand pounds,

It's fatter than a cow!

I don't know how I carry it,

But do it anyhow.

It's filled with books and papers

That my teacher says I need -

She never lets me lighten it,

No matter how I plead.

Sometimes it tips me backward,

It's a wonder I don't fall.

Sometimes I have to stop and rest

And lean against a wall.

I tell you, from experience,

It's not a lot of fun

When you have to lug a backpack

That's about a half a ton.

You're Eating Like a Pig Again!

by: Jack Prelutsky

"You're eating like a pig again!"

my mother scolded me,

"If you keep eating like a pig,

a pig is what you'll be!"

I simply cannot fathom

what the fuss is all about,

and haven't I a lovely tail,

and see my splendid snout.

The Turkey Shot out of the Oven

by: Jack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven

and rocketed into the air,

it knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom,

then splattered all over the kitchen,

completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,

it totally coated the floor,

there was turkey attached to the ceiling,

where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,

it smeared every saucer and bowl,

there wasn't a way I could stop it,

that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,

and thought with chagrin as I mopped,

that I'd never again stuff a turkey

with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

Something Big Has Been Here

by: Jack Prelutsky

Something big has been here,

what it was, I do not know,

for I did not see it coming,

and I did not see it go,

but I hope I never meet it,

if I do, I'm in a fix,

for it left behind its footprints,

they are size nine-fifty-six.

Whew!

by: Carol Diggory Shields

I didn't get my spelling done,

My science was a mess,

I totally forgot about

The social-studies test.

Finished only half the math,

My essay was too short,

The baby finger-painted jam

All over my report.

On the bus, I lost my pen,

And when I got in line,

I couldn't find the papers

My parents had to sign.

I gave up hope, went into class,

Shaking in my boots,

And saw the greatest sight on Earth -

A smiling substitute.

Rosie

by: Carol Diggory Shields

Have you met our Rosie yet?

She's very, very sweet.

We love her from her round pink ears

Down to her tiny feet.

Be gentle, you can take her out -

She'll climb up on your shoulder,

And even Jake sits quiet when

He gets a turn to hold her.

Her whiskers are all twitchery

Around her pretty nose,

And it really, really tickles

When she crawls inside your clothes.

We like to share our snacks with her

(She's getting kind of fat).

She's everybody's special friend -

She's Rosie, our class rat.

Math My Way

by: Carol Diggory Shields

Two plus two is twenty-two.

It's plain as day that this is true.

But teacher says she's very sure

That two plus two adds up to four.

Three plus three makes thirty-three.

That's the way it ought to be.

But teacher says the answer's six.

I don't know why. Must be a trick.

Four plus four is forty-four.

Not any less, not any more.

My teacher just can't get it straight.

She keeps on saying the answer's eight.

I give up. I'll go along.

I'll do it her way, though she's wrong.

But in my heart, I know what's true -

Two plus two makes twenty-two.

And the Answer Is...?

by: Carol Diggory Shields

Teacher, please don't look at me -

The answer is a mystery.

I'm staring into empty air,

I'm sliding underneath my chair.

I'm making myself very small,

I wish I wasn't here at all.

Teacher, teacher, pass me by,

Please pick on some other guy.

Teacher, teacher, call on me -

I know the answer, can't you see?

This one's a wrap, a snap, a breeze.

Just look in my direction, please!

I'm almost bouncing off my chair,

I'm waving both hands in the air.

Teacher, teacher, ask me first,

'Cause if you don't I think I'll burst.